also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
