im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
