im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
