I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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