Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
my liver is dry heaving
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
