Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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