i was born a porn star she said
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Ketchup is God's man juice
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize