No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
