covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
