Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize