After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
