I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
