Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
