nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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