The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
