I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
