ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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