in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
