I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
