He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize