so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
