I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
