You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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