oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
