i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
