Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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