Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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