I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize