I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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