And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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