somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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