ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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