I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She bit a glass in half.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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