She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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