It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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