1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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