Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Banned from zoo.
Again?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
