??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
