Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize