We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
