Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
