I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
