I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
