I love black thongs
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
