I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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