why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
