its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
