Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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