I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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