You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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