I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize
