after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize