i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
