I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish I only lived at night.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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