he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Randomize
