hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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