oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
