Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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