i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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