My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
