he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
