What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
