What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have fence marks all over my body
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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