I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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