You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
