How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
